Steel Cage Death Match of Movies

Jesse brought home Danny Trejo vehicle Machete (as in “what’s this long, hard thing?” “That’s my machete”…well, you get the dialog) With Steven Segal and Robert De Niro, you know you’re gettin’ action as well. Jesse votes for it as best movie ever made. I’m an open minded guy. I watched it 4 times de novo, then ran it head-to-head against Big Trouble in Little China, the actual best movie ever made. 


Jess has some points coming his way. Movie addresses big themes—illegal aliens—with a deft hand, from multiple perspectives, and with good humor. For me, it loses big points for persistent gratuitous violence. If I’s gonna be the best movie ever, it has to have wide appeal. It does pull in religious themes and icons, and takes a generally nonlinear path to the denoument, which is  a nice surprise and some dramatic twists. A nicely complicated ending. 


But you know, BTILC is still balls to the wall action, humor, drama, horror, special effects, and you got the floating head that gets knifed and deflated. Complex plot. Tricks from every film school from NYC to Tokyo underground. Master class in cinema, complete in one film. 


Final score? BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA  127 POINTS. MACHETE 80 POINTS. NO CONTEST, BGILC tops the polls for for one more year, no household should be without. Certainly this household won’t!